Yeah, that's the ticket!

While at the Lotteria (Korea's McDonald's) on Thursday I ran into a fellow foreigner. There are very few on my island and he is the first non-Russian I have seen here. I got a little excited and made plans to meet with him and a friend of his on Friday night. He was a short fat man with no chin and a lot of stubble. He seemed like a nice talkative guy and would make for a good night out.

I met up with him and he started telling me about his friend who has been here for a couple months and was a great story teller. I am all excited for a good night of some light dialog and crappy beer. As I am talking to the guy a hand pops out through the plants behind the booth. This hand precedes to give "bunny ears" to my booth-mate for 2 minutes thinking it's the bee's knees. The bunny ear maker then sits and starts shouting in a horribly fake Australian accent (he obviously doesn't know about the rule where only I can make obnoxiously bad attempts at accents).

This guy (the one making the bunny ears) looks like he is in his 50s but the way he was acting and from what I gathered throughout the evening he is only in his mid-twenties. I thought he was gay but it turns out he only worked in a gay bar. He was married once to a stripper that died but he only married her because his parents wouldn't let him marry the German girl that he'd met through the Internet (who is also now dead). He talked about how his girlfriend got a restraining order against him and how he is so poor and medically challenged but was supposed to be a Marine sniper. I heard about how he picked up a woman and her 14 year old daughter on the side of the street and let them live with him. Turns out the daughter was pregnant and the woman later became his "medicine woman". He sold candy in school and became so rich he paid $3000 (CASH!!) for his first car. He also mentioned politics and a few other things.

It wasn't so much that he talked a lot, it was that he was the worst storyteller I have ever heard (even worse than me!). Most of what he said was BS, much of his story telling mirrored John Luvitz' style. All of his political rants and anything about history (he is a history buff) were blatantly based on crap mass emails that have made the rounds over the years. I found myself going to the bathroom just so I could get away from it all. I had a beer mug planted to my mouth so I would either get drunk quickly in hopes that his blathering would make sense or I would quickly pass out. Neither happened.